Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Best of Times, the Worst of Times

I don't usually write about work on my blog. I'm a psychiatric nurse. My current job, while bringing me joyful and satisfied moments, is also a major source of stress in my life.
So here, on this blog, I try to write about non-stressful things!

I treat my patients with as much patience and kindness as I possibly can so what is likely one of the worst moments in their life is a little more comfortable and bearable. However, I constantly worry about making mistakes. I've experienced very little hostility from patients. I've never been hit or injured at my job, (knock wood) even though part of my work sometimes involves administering emergency medications, and placing clients into emergency restraints.
Most of my coworkers are great. Lovely, kind people. Some of them aren't. Like anywhere else. I always hated the phrase "Nurses eat their young." But there is some truth in it. Suffice to say I had an extremely challenging day yesterday, and it was made worse not by the behavior of the patients (although I had a REALLY tough one yesterday) but by staff.
I actually found a new job this week working at an outpatient clinic. It should by all reports be a less stressful job than what I have now. I was so happy when I walked into work yesterday, giving my 2 weeks notice, yet I felt so defeated by the time I left because of my inability to get along with this other staff member. I came home and cried.

But no one can "make" you feel anything.
After a good cry, I pulled out all the stops- took a bath, put on a nice dress that I made, and went out to dinner with my husband and my very best friends.

Yesterday was so strange.
While it is true that I was working with someone unpleasant, I was also approached by a coworker that I helped the other day. This coworker fell ill at work, and I had her come and sit down in the nurses station, while I went to fetch the PA and internist. We got her some medication, and she was o.k.

Yesterday, in the middle of all the chaos I was experiencing, she gave me a little present (!). I felt overwhelmed by this gesture. Especially when she said to me..."You made me feel so calm yesterday. Thank-you." Her little present was so thoughtful. My favorite part of it was that it was wrapped with a rubber band that she decorated herself with little dots.

When I came home yesterday, I also received a gift in the mail from a blog reader. Beautiful origami paper. I was so down in dumps, but this little gift of paper helped to lift my spirits.
Thank-you, Ms.Joni.



janis said...

If you were here I would give you a big hug! Jennifer, how do you do it? That is huge, your job is huge - and on top of it, you sew and knit and make beautiful things - you are really amazing.

Congratulation on your new job - and thank goodness!

erica said...

i'm glad you found a new job that will be less stressful. and how sweet is that rubber band?

it is amazing that you can sew and knit and make beautiful things on top of your job. my mom used to be a nurse, and it really wiped her out--especially when she worked at a nursing home.

Beklina said...

I enjoyed your post & getting you know about you a little more. I have a good friend who's a nurse. I'm always blown away with her kindness & compassion.

at swim-two-birds said...

hi jennifer, i wish you the best with your new job, i think i couln't handle all that stress.
It is a good thing you can be creative and make beautiful things, it also helps to relax :)

Colette Joni said...

You are so welcome Jennifer.
And what timing!
I hope that you like them.

I completely agree with your other readers that it IS amazing that you create and make beauty on top of a stress career.

I hope that you new job is exactly what you are looking for.

Sincerely, Joni (Ms)
ps- I am knitting a purple and brown striped (like mr. stripey sans l'orange) mohair scarf . I love this colour combo.

kate said...

best wishes for your new job jennifer! i can't imagine how stressful your work must be at times.
hooray for sweet friends who help lighten the load a little.

n a t s u m i said...

Congratulations on your new job, Jennifer! Hope your new job will be less stressful. Be happy! big hugs.